World Class Penalty Kick

Sucks to be this goalie.

Golden’s Album - iTunes

Is another Jay Z about to emerge?

Jermaine Dupri has recently been appointed the President of Island Records Urban Music, a new division of the Island Def Jam Music Group. If Jay Z is CEO of hip hop, does this make JD CEO elect? Very doubtfull and probably not likely at all. The point is, L.A. Reid and Steve Bartels finally got smart and realized the success of Jaz Z in a management position, could probably be duplicated with another talented artist such as JD.

Lets look at a few similarities between the two.

The first is, they both dated some fine females:

 

Jermaine Dupri owns “Cafe Dupri”, Jay Z owns 40/40 nightclub.

Dupri had feuds with Dr. Dre, Jay Z had feuds with Nas.

 

Anyway, you get the point. All I’m saying is, the next few months in the Hop Hop world should be interesting.

 

You can read the article here at the hiphopgame.com

or here at the Ballerstatus.net

 

50 Cent Cam’Ron diss is G-Unit Terrorist training video

I would normally never post this, but there is something about this video that is so unsettling. So after Cam’Ron had the nerve to diss Curtis “50 Cent” Jackson on Hot 97, he comes back with this: a mediocre song with a strangely low budget video shot at his Connecticut mansion, complete with entourage, bitches, cars, cash and ridiculously large guns.

What I found so funny was just imagining the nice rich people in 50’s neighborhood wondering what all the men in doorags with video cameras and AK 47’s are doing. I mean, his house literally looks like it could be next to mine, but inside it looks like fuckin’ Al Qaeda’s Queens headquarters.

Where am I gonna get my tomato and anal omelette now?

Bennett’s, one of Madison’s most unique institutions, the type of place that really makes this town great, is officially closing. As reported in the Capital Times, Bennett’s will close on Feb. 24. Commonly known as Smut n’ Eggs, the Park St. bar/grill/dirty movie house is famous for serving old school porn flicks with your late late night/early morning drunken eggs binge. It has always sounded to me like the most fun place in Madison. Unfortunately, I’ve never been there. Yet.

So, the question is: who’s driving to Bennett’s tonight/tomorrow morning? And then again next weekend?

PS: He’s selling all his VHS/DVDs!

Future Sex

I have a huge man crush on Justin Timberlake right now, if only to vicariously get into the pants of two of the hottest women on the planet. Not only did JT release one of the dopest albums of ‘06 (and arguably the best single of the year), but word is that he’s juggling between Jessica Biel and Scarlett Johansson.

Pause.

Let that sink in for a while.

Scarlett Johansson and Jessica Biel. And this is after dumping Cameron Diaz. Dude is quickly rivalling Derek Jeter for fantasy-pussy team draft position.

For real, these two have been my #1-2 broads for quite some time now. And I didn’t even make a “SexyBack” joke.

300 Trailer

Oh I Wish I was . . . .

Consider this a PSA for all you readers out there looking for jobs. Because I know that represents a large number of you and also knowing many of your qualifications some of you would seem perfectly fit to……..well……… drive this

                      Apply Here

Google Earth the following: Bellemoor School in Southampton, Hampshire

It seems as if kids in high school just know how to lay down the best pranks. These kids Bellemoor School for Boys in Southampton, Hampshire, took weed killer and drew a penis into their school’s lawn. Google Earth shortly after.

Well played…

Article with image here 

 

TO THE PEOPLE AROUND THE WORLD

I am putting together an email list for all you people abroad so you can keep up with the things that really matter; stories from this side of the world.

If you want to be on the email list, fill in the fields, and in the “messege box” include your AIM name, and a short description as to why you should be included in the email list.

Dont worry about the “Your Website”  box.

SEND THIS SITE TO PEOPLE THAT MIGHT BE INTERESTED IN GETTING ON THE LIST:

 

Vegas…sweet….

The True Spirit of Christmas

DARWIN AWARDS

A Darwin Award is a tongue-in-cheek “honor” given to people who supposedly improve the human gene pool as part of the natural-selection process by accidentally killing or sterilizing themselves during a foolish or careless mistake. Named after pioneering evolutionary theorist Charles Darwin, some of the “awards” are in fact urban legends.

THIS YEAR’S WINNER:

The late, John Pernicky and his friend, the late Sal Hawkins, of the great state of Washington, decided to attend a local Metallica concert at the George Washington amphitheater.

Having no tickets (but having had 18 beers between them), they thought it would be easy to “hop” over the nine foot fence and sneak into the show. They pulled their pickup truck over to the fence and the plan was for Mr. Pernicky, who was 100 pounds heavier than Mr. Hawkins, to hop the fence and then assist his friend over.

Unfortunately for the late Mr. Pernicky, there was a 30-foot drop on the other side of the fence. Having heaved himself over, he found himself crashing through a tree. His fall was abruptly halted (and broken, along with his arm) by a large branch that snagged him by his shorts.

Dangling from the tree with a broken arm, he looked down and saw some bushes below him. Possibly figuring the bushes would break his fall, he removed his pocket knife and proceeded to cut away his shorts to free himself from the tree.

Finally free, Mr. Pernicky crashed into holly bushes. The sharp Leaves scratched his ENTIRE body and now, without the protection of his shorts, a holly branch penetrated his rectum. To make matters worse, upon landing his pocket knife penetrated his thigh.

Hawkins, seeing his friend in considerable pain and agony, threw him a rope and tried to pull him to safety by tying the rope to the pickup truck and slowly driving away. However, in his drunken haste, he put the truck into reverse and crashed through the fence landing on his friend and killing him.

Police arrived to find the crashed pickup with its driver thrown 100 feet from the truck and dead at the scene from massive internal injuries. Upon moving the truck, they found John under it half-naked, scratches on his body, a holly stick in his rectum, a knife in his thigh, and his shorts dangling from a tree branch 25 feet in the air.

Congratulations gentlemen! You win! And some more idiots have been removed from the gene pool.

FOR THE SCIENCE TYPE

A major research institution has just announced the discovery, in Washington, D.C., of the densest element yet known to science. The new element has been named “Bushcronium.” Bushcronium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 311. These particles are held together by dark forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. The symbol for Bushcronium is “W”.

Bushcronium’s mass actually increases over time, as morons randomly interact with various elements in the atmosphere and become assistant deputy neutrons in a Bushcronium molecule, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to believe that Bushcronium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as “Critical Morass”.

When catalyzed with money, Bushcronium activates Foxnewsium, an element that radiates orders of magnitude more energy, albeit as incoherent noise, since it has 1/2 as many peons but twice as many morons.

1 Year Anniversary

This month, November, marks the 1 Year Anniversary of Blatant Ineptitude. There is a lot to be said for that considering the roads we have come across. There have been days of multiple posts, and there have been weeks of the same crap. Now, we are finally starting to level out and create a solid framework for what BI is all about. With the number of unique hits continually climbing, you will see a lot of new, creative and interesting posts, that will kill boredom.

Be Safe…Keep it Real…

Tin Can

If you have ever wondered what its like to live in a tin can, here is a semi close idea.

And you thought cell phones were starting to get annoying?

Thanks to our friends in the land of gadgets and gizmos, along with the people looking to be the next mark zuckerberg, we could be looking at the next evolution in mobile banking. Noodles & Co. three Boulder eatery had joined up with FEED Tribes to offer customers the ability to pay for their bill via text messaging.

For any of the skeptics that seriously doubt this, the technology works like this (or so they claim):

• Sign up: Consumers sign up through the company’s Web site, establishing an account that’s linked to either a checking or savings acount. They can also set up automatic “recharges” at regular intervals or when the account balance hits a certain amount.

• Shop: They shop in a participating merchant’s store or restaurant, including Noodles & Co.’s three Boulder eateries.

• Give ‘em the code: Customers punch in a five-digit contact code for FEED Tribes, then use a PIN number to access their account balance and receive a code that’s good for 15 minutes. They give the code to the cashier, who enters it into a machine that debits the customer’s account.

Are credit card companies on the verge of extinction? Does it really matter?
Rest of Article Here…

If I had the money to go to a record store

Simian Mobile Disco - “Hustler” video

This song is sick, as expected from SMD and Kitsuné, but the video is waaay hotter. It’s not often that a video catches my attention and even though the track is old this one’s apparently brand new. It revolves (literally) around a little get-together of hot hipster chicks whispering into each others ears telephone-style and eventually making out. You really shouldnt even be reading this anymore, just watch it.

Michael, Marshall in Mash-up Mania

Continuing on our forgotten path of mixtape mash-up hilarity that started a few months ago, we bring you a serious addition to the family. DJ Swindle, whose Bobb Deep mix took the internet by surprise by laying Queensbridge’s most murderous over Marley beats, has a new one out.

“Em-J: Marshall Meets Michael” is as sick, twisted and dope as you’d expect mashing two of America’s most fucked up, yet unbeleivably talented artists of all time. MJ is one of the few artists from generations prior who we can ALL recognize the second the needle drops. Eminem went from that weird skinny white kid with a gimicky video on MTV (”My Name Is”) to one of the best rappers ever and a ubiquitous mega-pop star. Hearing them together has a weird sense of familiarity, maybe it’s because every sound has seeped into our collective consious so much that we forget how deranged Em’s lyrics truly are and the fact that the King of Pop fondles little boys.

Either way, they made transendent music, and Swindle managed to chop Slim Shady up so tightly over these beats that even THE GREATEST SONG OF ALLTIME “Don’t Stop ‘Til You Get Enough” sounds different, fresh.

DJ Swindle - “The Real Slim Shady / Don’t Stop ‘Til You Get Enough” from EM-J: Marshall Meets Michael

I’ve actually had “P.Y.T.” stuck in my head all day, and hearing the chorus sped up with D.R.E. over it is a definite banger. It’s not often you hear Dre and Em over something that’s actually HAPPY sounding…it gives their verses a totally different feel. You know Dre looooves Thriller, too.

DJ Swindle - “Forgot About Dre / P.Y.T.” from EM-J: Marshall Meets Michael

Check Swindle’s site for all his mixes (inclduing “80 Cent”) or the EM-J MySpace page to hear more tracks.

Videos on BI - Fuzzy Creature Commericial

This post goes out to the BI authors. There is a new, self explanatory way to put up videos. Check it out..  

Due to the big updates going on YouTube/Google, many of our videos from the past no longer work, and we don’t know if we will be fixing them. If they are worth fixing they will probably be reposted.

 

Daft Punk Is Playing At My House

This brings back crazy memories for me, the (end of the) Golden Age of MTV, when they actually played videos. Directed by Michel Gondry (Eternal Sunshine, countless other hot music videos), so classic, especially the popping/locking giants in the adidas track suits. It’s one of those videos where the song is brilliant, but, somehow, the video makes it even better and you’re left with an all-around 10 on the classic scale. Vive la France.